hi
i started taking diazapam more than 8 years ago and i can still remember how good i felt when first started taking them and also remember the nightmare i felt when couldnt get any, it was worse than hell, i had many times when i never had them but sinse 2003 i have never been without any, in 2003 i was taking (in secret) 20-40mg 3 times a day, i felt brilliant, i could go out, could have a laugh basicly just what you’d think is a normal persons daily life, it was jan 2007 that i finally knew that they werent doing anything good anymore and no matter how much id taken they wouldnt work, i couldnt go out, could no longer work, couldnt speak to anyone other than my partner at the time and that was going nowhere due to my addiction, i was fortunate to have a beutifull baby daughter in march 07 and that kicked me into trying to stop the diazepam, i started taking 10mg 3 times a day, morning, afternoon & night where as before it was any time any amount, after a while i reduced it to 10mg twice a day, 1st thing in morning then in afternoon, it has been a very unpleasent time but managed to cut them down to just half a 5mg tablet in morning & the other half in afternoon, through all this i split with partner and still couldnt enjoy anything other than my daughter as we didnt have to talk just play and enjoy each others times together, she is now 1 1/2 years old and i’m not any happier with myself or able to work or play, i have started to take a little bit extra if i have appointments or any time i have to go to a social event, only 2 people have known about my problem and cant belive how well i’ve hidden it although it is so obvious i couldnt even smile at daughters 1st birthday or 1st christmas as others were about, how can i stop taking the very small amount i’m taking now? i have tried but i lose my mind every time, i’m determined to do it but just cant see how, any help, suggestions, tips, links, anything at all i’d be really greatfull for
regards
steve

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